Feeling Proud, but Old

I had a birthday a little over a week ago and I turned 32. 

I had a lot of people ask me if I felt older, or if turning 32 bothered me. 

My answer to them was no.

The year I turned 25 has really been the only birthday, that I remember, that has bothered me.

I told them no for a couple of different reasons.

 I don't feel old, and I know people say it all the time but I really believe you are only as old as you feel..

Also I just look at birthdays as another year the Good Lord has blessed me to be here in the world and another year I get to spend with my family and watch them grow up.

That is honestly how I felt...until last night...lol

Last night I had a serious conversation with my oldest son Tyler, who is 14, that really left me feeling old.

Yesterday after school Tyler came into my room and was telling me how he made a decision, and that he has decided on going into the Navy.

He has told me  from the time he was old enough to talk that he was going into the military. 

I just really thought he would be like all little boys who want to be an "army man" and that he would grow out of it.
But with him, after 10 years at least, I don't think it's a phase.

The only thing that has changed from year to year is that he's always changing which branch he wants to go into. 

Well he says he's decided Navy now because he wants to go into the Navy Seal program. 

He apparently has been spending the last few days online researching the different programs and requirements.

He informed me last night that he's decided that he really needs to bring his grades up,(YEA!!!)  especially in math and science. 

He said if he would be underwater in a sub he would need to be able to calculate mass and volume, etc...and that he also needs to work on learning another language. 

He also says he wants to go to 2 years of regular college so he can get smart..lol..then 2 years of admiral college .

I'm not even sure what that is, but I guess he found it in his research. 

He then continued to tell me how he also probably needs to not be friends with a few of his friends since they could get him into trouble since he knows some of them occasionally drink and do drugs...

and he really needs to work hard to make sure he doesn't get anything on his record, and that he needs to focus more on his friends that are funny like him, and that like to have fun, but that don't get into trouble...

I also found out that he spent the night at a different friends house instead of where he was supposed to be originally over the weekend, (which I knew) but the real reason was because the kid had thrown a party where they were drinking and he didn't want to be around that..(DOUBLE YEA!!)

 

With him his moods are so different from day to day, but he was completely serious when telling me what all he was wanting to change in his life and accomplish. 

I told him that I thought his goals were fantastic (even though as his mother it scares the crap out of me! ) and that I was very proud of his decisions, but that he was going to have to work very hard because the Seals training is the hardest to go through and they are very selective on who they take.

I know I had my kids really young, and they are a lot older than most of my friends kids, but I just don't think everyday about how much they are growing up. 

Then it hit me last night after our conversation that in 4 years, my oldest son will very possibly not be living with me any more and will be off exploring the world, possibly in the Navy, with me nowhere close by to protect him...

That made me feel very old,
but at the same time so very proud of the young man he's becoming!

Does any of you other moms out there have teenagers? 

I always thought after the teenage years I'd be happily planning the going away to college parties...lol...
but that doesn't seem to be the case :0(

Anyone else feel the same way?

Thanks for letting me ramble  :0)